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I've had an MS diary on the MSIF site. I've decided to add my diary entries here as well!
September 14, 2005
Things are going okay right now. I'm not feeling as tired or confused lately. Maybe it is because the stress of planning my wedding is over, and the wedding was incredible.
My injections have not been going as well. For some reason, they really seem to hurt. It's not the needle piercing the skin, but I can actually feel the burn as the Rebif enters my body. Yuck!
We are in the process of starting an MS Chapter here in Saint John, and I am keeping busy with that. I'm going to be the secretary on the council, and I'm quite excited about this.
I'm trying to stay positive and focused.
September 22, 2005
Last night I met with Dan (who will be the chapter president) and Barry (who works for the city and will be assisting us) to check out the Interpretation Center at Rockwood Park as a possible site to hold our monthly meetings. It is indeed a beautiful spot. The building is wonderful, it is centrally located, there are two ducks ponds right beside the building, it will not cost us to rent the facility, it has free parking, and it is wheelchair accessible.
Dan and I both agree that it will be a lovely spot to have our MS Chapter meetings. I think our first one will be on October 12, and we will be having the meetings once a month on Wednesday evenings. I am quite excited to finally have a chapter here in Saint John - but it will be a lot of work as I will be the recording secretary. Fun!
My injections have been so much better this week, only a slight burn. David actually pushed the button on my Rebiject Sunday night - the first time he has "helped" in my injections. He did great!
If anybody reading this would like to see some of the photos of my wedding last month, check out my wedding web site at:
http://stmartinswedding.piczo.com
Work has been wonderful for the past week. I am doing a special project and I love it! It is only for 2 1/2 weeks, and I wish it was permanent, or longer. It feels so good to be stress-free and more relaxed lately.
September 26, 2005
What a crazy weekend. Thursday night, David went out on his motorcycle to meet some of the guys for a coffee. Cory (one of his friends) phoned me to let me know that David has "laid his bike down". I had no idea what this meant nor what he was talking about. He said that they called for an ambulance, and that David was okay.
He was in an accident! Then I understood. I got freaked out 'cause I don't like his riding a motorcycle in the first place (scares me). I could hear the sirens from the ambulance through Cory's cell phone.
I rushed to the Regional Hospital to be with my husband. I was upset and worried. He scratched his legs up a little bit, and he broke his collar bone! Ouch. Poor guy. :(
You can see the end of the bone pushing up against his skin, it's gross. He's in a lot of pain, and the only thing the doctors did for him at the hospital was put his arm in a sling and write a prescription for Tylenol 3. We got home that night and I gave him a little bit of morphine which helped him ease the pain.
So now David is out of work for maybe 2 months, and I have been trying to take care of him. David usually is the one who takes care of me. I'm trying to keep myself moving, clean the house, take care of him, cook the meals (he usually does all the cooking) and take care of the kitties (another thing he usually does). I'm doing okay so far.
My injections have been great for the past week - let's hope it stays that way for a while. I injected last night, and I could barely even feel the needle going in. It was awesome.
I just feel bad for David because he is always doing something - keeping busy at work, taking care of me and the cats, cooking our meals, etc. Now he can't even play video games while he is out sick. He is going to go crazy. I'll have to think of something for him to do to keep himself busy and occupied for a while.
October 5, 2005
Well, life just seems to be getting hectic right now. I have been working 22.5 hours per week since January, and it has been great considering all I had wanted right now was 30 hours per week. Things are so crazy and busy lately that I am now working 40 hours per week. It is just too much for me.
I did speak to my supervisors about this, and I sent an e-mail this morning trying to get a reduction in my amount of hours. I have yet to hear back from them. Next week and the following week, I'll be working from 1:30 in the afternoon until 10:00 at night! Yuck. I take two Modafinil (Provigil) pills every morning just to function properly. I think that I am going to get a reduction in the amount of hours - Karen mentioned that I might be working from 4:00 in the afternoon until 10:00. It is still too late for me, but atleast it is less hours. Hopefully that works out okay for me.
I've been so tired lately that I have not been working on my scrapbooking, nor have I been going to play darts (something I truly adore). My darts team plays tonight, starting at 8:00 (the time I am getting off work). I could make it over and play, only be 1/2 hour late, but I think I'll just go home and relax (sleep).
I have not yet completed/sent the thank-you cards for my bridal showers nor the wedding yet. It just seems to be too much work for me. I'll hopefully get them done & out soon.
Injections have been going better lately. I can feel the bad burn still, but it only lasts for a few moments.
I noticed this morning that the emerald is missing from the promise ring David gave me five years ago. :-( I'm so upset about this. I am so grateful that I did not lose one of my diamonds from my engagement ring - I would have been so devestated about that.
David is doing much better the past couple of days. He won't be able to work for still quite some time, but atleast he can do stuff on his own and he is able to drive the car. He's not in as much pain, but is still wearing his "crazy eight device".
October 6, 2005
Today appears to be a bit better. I went home last night and just watched David play a new Playstation game and then we watched TV. I actually slept in today until 9:00; I haven't been able to sleep in past 6:30 for months now. It felt great. I laid in bed watching TV until 10:00 - and I loved it.
I got a reduction in my hours at work. I have to try and get through the full 8.5 hour shift for today and tomorrow, but for the next while I'll be working less hours (thank goodness). For the next two weeks I'll be working from 4:30 pm until 10:00 pm; still a bit too late for me, but atleast not as many hours.
I'm going to play in the provincial darts tournament in Petitcodiac this weekend. I'm not able to play in the blind doubles shoot Friday night because I don't get off work until 8:00. I love playing in the blind shoots. I'll go up Saturday morning for the ladies' single shoot, and hopefully I'll be able to find a partner for the mixed doubles that afternoon. I always am able to find partners.
Injection again tonight - in the stomach. Usually my best and least painful site. I have enough Shoppers Drug Mart Optimum points for $150 worth of free merchandise again. How much fun it is to just go through the store with a shopping cart and pick up whatever I want and not have to pay for it!
October 10, 2005
My husband's mother send me this story in an e-mail last week; it is a beautiful story:
"A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little the boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.
"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.
Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.
In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."
With tears in his eyes, farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully handed it to the little boy.
"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."
October 11, 2005
I read this story on another MS website - it was posted by a guy named Jack, and I think it is an inspirational and beautiful story:
"There once was a bunch of tiny frogs, who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.
The race began.
Honestly...no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as: "Oh, WAY too difficult!!!" They will NEVER make it to the top!!!"
or:
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!!!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!!!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher. This one wouldn't give up!!!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
It turned out...That the winner was DEAF!!!
The wisdom of this story is:
NEVER listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic...
Because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you...the ones you have in your heart!!!
Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!!!
October 12, 2005
Tonight is the first meeting of our new MS chapter. I am quite excited to see how many people show up for the meeting. I know my mother is planning on attending. Besides the executive committee, I am expecting about 8 people to attend. Dan and Monica both said they think we will have between 20 - 25 people. We'll have to wait and see until tonight.
I had a horrible time sleeping last night. That is very weird for me lately because I usually can't get enough sleep. My left eye was burning so bad! I coudn't do anything to stop the itching and the burning. It actually kept me awake from 3:00 am until about 6:00 am. Let me say that there is nothing interesting or entertaining to watch on TV at those hours!
October 18, 2005
Our first MS Chapter meeting was pretty good. There were 12 of us who attended. Everybody was really enthusiastic about our group. My mother volunteered to be the coordinator for the MS Christmas Cake Campaign. I will help her create a spreadsheet to keep the info organized. Diana volunteered to be the coordinator for public relations - which is awesome for us to get word out about the group and MS in general to the community.
I stabbed myself last night! I was trying to get the plastic protective cap off my Rebif needle and actually stabbed my left thumb. Boy it hurt and it bled. You can see where the needle went in one place and came out a little lower on my thumb. It actually came out further down. It is very sore and bruised. Stupid me!
My hours for the next two weeks at work seem much better. I'll be working 7:00 am until 3:30 pm. Currently, I have been working until 10:00 at night! Too late. I much prefer the earlier start, but I am not sure how I am going to make out with 8.5 hour shifts. I brought in a doctor's note last fall stating no longer than 6.5 hour shifts; I had to remind them last week about my doctor's note and they reduced my hours to 5.5 hours shift. I'm not sure if they have forgotten since last week, or if they are just hoping I will be able to work it. 8.5 hours is just too long for me.
Other than that, I've been feeling pretty good. Not as tired; not as "stupid" or unfocused; and my injections have not been as painful (burning). Hopefully things will continue to be more positive.
I have been able to get into my scrap booking again this week. It is something that I truly enjoy doing and it relaxes me. But for about one month, I couldn't concentrate enough to do any. I've completed five pages within the past five days. Pretty good for me!
October 21, 2005
I am struggling through life right now. I am not able to concentrate or even think properly. I cannot explain it - but I feel so stupid sometimes. I graduated from Community College last June at the top of my class and now I feel so unable to do things.
I got my hours reduced at work again. They keep putting me in for 42.5 hours per week (which I cannot possibly handle right now) and I have to mention my doctor's note from last fall stating that I should not work more than 6.5 hours per shift, up to 30 hours per week. For the next two weeks I am scheduled to work from 7:00 am until 2:00 pm, not until 3:30 as they had previously scheduled me for.
The workload and processes are changing so drastically - we are doing the job of about three different people and not receiving a raise or any incentive. I would love to be able to find a different job with regular hours and regular workloads, but I have to make sure I have medical benefits. I cannot afford my Rebif.
David's shoulder seems to be healing. He does not have any pain, but I have to keep telling him that it has probably not completely healed yet and that he should not push it. He'll probably be going back to work in two weeks which is good and bad. I'm worried he may hurt it again. He is driving me crazy by spending so much time at home and being bored. He needs to find a hobby or something.
I still have not written my thank-you notes for my bridal showers nor for our wedding yet. Dad keeps hounding me to get them out. I agree that I have to write them and send them off soon, but I feel so overwhelmed with everything. We've been married for just over two months now. My shower thank-you cards are pretty much done - only two left to write. I'll have to finish them off tonight after work or tomorrow. Then I can tackle the wedding gift thank-you cards. Even if I just write 2 - 3 per day I'll get them done!
October 26, 2005
Work is just getting to be too crazy and hectic lately! I am so tempted to quit, but I cannot until I find something else because I truly need the benefits to help pay for me Rebif.
It is not the work I dislike, nor the people. It is a pretty good place with great people - but lately, the work load & the hours & the new processes just seem to be too much for me to handle.
I'll just have to take it one day at a time and hopefully things will brighten up for me.
Ciao for now!
November 7, 2005
Work seems to be a little less stressful for me this week. Thank goodness! But life is still feeling crazy for me. I cannot concentrate or focus - my attention span is almost non-existent.
We had another baby shower yesterday for Krista (my sister-in-law) and it was fun. We played the typical shower games, ate lots of yummy food, and watched her unwrap the most precious baby gifts. She is due one month from tomorrow (December 8). I am so excited for my parents to finally become grandparents - they are going to be awesome grandparents. They are really excited.
I've been trying to get back into playing darts again. It has been so hard recently because I have been working to 8:00, 9:00, and 10:00 at night for the past six weeks. I really have to practice this week because the regionals are on Sunday... the try-outs for Provincials. I would love to make it to Provincials then to Nationals because they are so close to home this year - only 3.5-hour drive away. Hopefully.
David's shoulder is doing quite well; he'll probably go back to work later this week. I am just concerned that he is not ready and that he'll hurt his shoulder again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him.
I got my flu shot this afternoon, it didn't hurt at all. I wish my Rebif injections went as smoothly and painlessly as this one did.
Our 2nd chapter meeting is this Wednesday night. Hopefully all goes well and we have the same people return plus some new members as well. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Christmas has come and gone so quickly this year. David and I had a nice, quiet holiday this year. We finished decorating our tree Christmas morning!
I am now an aunt! My little nephew, Benjamin, was born December 3 at 10:22 at night. He is so beautiful! I just love him. My parents are the most proud grandparents; I can't believe how much my father just sits there and holds him for hours. If anybody would like to see a few photos of Benjamin, check out my website at: http://stmartinswedding.piczo.com and check out the page named "My New Nephew".
We are all so proud of the little guy.
I've been feeling okay lately. I'm not as tired or as "frazzled" (mentally lost) as usual. My injections have been better, not burning as badly; but my left hip is so tender and sore from injections two weeks ago. I've changed my injection site because it is so sore there and I've got a little welt/ bump.
I hope everybody has a wonderful Christmas holiday and that you are all feeling okay. Please check out my website and see my new little nephew!
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